enmeshment...

"Without a clear boundary between himself and his parent, the child remains enmeshed in the relationship. That enmeshment is later a template for his way of connecting to the rest of the world. Enmeshment - what Dr. Michael Kerr calls a lack of differentiation - comes to dominate one's intimate relationships. It can take two forms, withdrawal and sullen and self defeating resistance to authority, or chronic and compulsive care taking of others. In some people the two may coexist, depending on with whom they happen to be interacting at the moment. Since the immune confusion that leads to disease reflects a failure to distinguish self from not self, healing has to involve establishing or reclaiming the boundaries of an autonomous self." (GMate)