Thursday, December 12, 2013
white team found my CT scan, to their surprise, clear. except for the massive tumour in my breast and a lymph node. this cancer is known to aggressively spread from its first location but my body is holding it off quite spectacularly. what they call a reprieve i call a lot of hard work against many forms of opposition, a minor miracle that's also eating my heart out. they reacted in restrained disbelief that I would seek surgery at this point as it would be very risky for nonhealing, create a large wound and involve a skin graft. the pinhole drain on the breast healed over last night and I felt a day of rest was in order for it. it continued to swell during the day and by the time I got to hospital it was quite enlarged again, looking like a massive tumour... I reiterated a few times that what was presenting here was at least a third fluid... they weren't buying it. the oncologist made chemo treatment sound like a temporary inconvenience limited to a few bad days a week. I explained I wasn't avoiding chemo because I'm afraid of the profound secondary effects, the whole interventionist notion of interfering with and suppressing symptoms instead of cultivating natural laws makes zero sense to me. I'm going out of town tomorrow to consult green team surgeon, see what he has to tell me.
at 8:31 PM