Saturday, March 22, 2014

improvement continues...

i forgot to mention, when i met with my MD and he pronounced me terminal and took a chest Xray for the record (we have yet to get the radiologist's report which will reveal whether beyond the palpable tumours if the lungs have been affected... and i think they have not... i will post the results when i get them next week, even better i'm hoping to snag a picture of the film), i did counter his gloomy assessment by pointing out, as i'm wont to do, that there is no stage of any type of cancer that hasn't been survived by someone, and that beyond this i still feel like a healthy person sporting a psychological cancer. curious if i could prove this i reminded him that i had asked for full blood panels when i saw his associate the week before when i needed more pain meds. i asked him to look up the results. he had to admit that aside from two indices that show inflammation consistent with metastases, all my other values are picture perfect. this led me to emphasize the point that even if my MD thinks i'm running on false hope, what possible harm is there in that? what if i'm right? then my attitude serves! and if i'm wrong, i'll at least have a good time being proven so!

also forgot to mention, i had a dream last night that my period was coming after what seemed a false start earlier this month. and in fact it did come today, another incredible sign of life! what's more, today i had exactly 4 percocets, that's down from yesterday and the day before when i needed 8-10 percs during the day, and before bed 1 long release hydromorph contin 6mg and 6-8 hydromorphone 1mg, and 2 more percs in the middle of the night.

after a special workshop today on withdrawing projections in the interest of clear-seeing in clinical contexts, i had the chance to finally meet this gentlemen, a friend of barbara's, who heard about my cash-poor situation and my desire to begin a new professional life with, for starters, this training in colon hydrotherapy... it was by his graces alone that my course fee has been paid for and this one obstacle removed. i will be repaying his investment once i start seeing clients, but in the meantime his main concern, as mine, is that i get well again.

our program begins tomorrow morning... barbara and i are doing the course together which is so fantastic!!! (her teenage son has his uncle for company, he lives with them, so my endlessly-giving friend can have the rare opportunity to do something exclusively for herself) ... the woman teaching us is quite an exceptional person who's travelled all over the world and knows so much about so many things, what an example of a dream come true!! i won't be posting again until end of next week. wish us luck!

my benefactor nick... thank goodness for the kindness of strangers!

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