i've made some tweaks to my own protocols and got further information from the hospital about time frame and it looks like i have until 12 july, which is when the first chemo treatment is scheduled for.
i continue to have grave reservations about the chemo and am still working to be able to decline it, but at the same time i must find out the causes behind the limited results i've had with my own approaches or be patient and have faith that what i'm doing will start reducing the tumour dramatically very soon.
one bit of good advice i got was to get some blood work done ASAP so that i will have the results before any question of carrying thru with chemo arises. these basic blood tests will tell us the condition of my liver and kidneys, WBCs, RBCs, and Tcells.... i couldn't reach my GP so decided to contact the very helpful receptionist who talked me through latest arrangements this morning. i was surprised that she was not only on the ball and helpful with my sense of urgency on all this, but i even got the impression that it seemed common sense to her that i would be asking for these kinds of tests. it looked for a while that she was going to get the breast clinic nurse to just write up the requisition for me so that i could get the blood work done early next week, but the oncologist stepped in and said no, that i have to come on the 11th as scheduled and that blood work would be done then and be available for us to discuss on the first day of chemo. this is not to my liking as its consistent with control and pressure tactics designed not to give me any time in advance to consider my options, so i will have to be resourceful next week and see what i can come up with.
i'm sure when an oncologist consults with a patient presenting a stage three aggressive cancer, peripheral considerations are cast aside and focus is limited to the area of their specialization. i understand that. but if there are any problems or weaknesses hiding in my liver or kidney, their chemotherapy could kill me as much as the cancer could.
i'm also going to be asking next week for a second MRI to be scheduled for me just prior to the chemo on the outside chance it might show a decrease in the tumour which could give me a leg to stand on.
i have to provisionally report that not only do i continue to feel good everyday with what i'm doing, by the end of my day yesterday which involved a 90minute hot yoga class followed by an evening experience with shaking medicine, for the first time i felt that the tumour was ever so slightly smaller! and mark this was no on account of sweat loss, the change is in the dimensionalities of the mass, including its distance from my chest wall.
i'm willing to keep two books here... to keep complying with the hospital just in case i have no choice, but in the meantime i'm working to usurp those plans at the last minute with clear evidence that what i'm doing is working... i WILL gamble with my life if i see the slightest indication that even against this most aggressive form of cancer, metabolic controls, holistic adjuvants and emotional/spiritual/energetic work can be successfully employed to cure....!
in keeping with this, i felt last night at the shaking, which was a revelatory event and one i took to like a duck to water, that another community and another road in life is opening up to me... i intend to be just as fearless walking towards it as i am in facing this cancer.........!